Pittsburgh 2050: 2010

Over the last few months I’ve been missing.  Well, teaching’s not the only thing that’s been keeping me busy lately; I’ve also been spending some time in the future.  Yes, that’s right, I’ve borrowed Doc Brown’s DeLorean once again to take a trip into Pittsburgh’s future.  But seeing as we’re heading into a new year, I thought I’d let everyone know, in this 2010 edition of Pittsburgh 2050, what they can expect this year.

• The city begins to take public transportation seriously.  After a night of watching Seinfeld reruns, Councilman G_____ proposes a citywide rickshaw service operated entirely by the city’s homeless population.  It doesn’t work out.
• The city begins to seriously consider it’s homeless population. (see above)
• While digging the North Shore connector, workers discover a strange and mysterious box.  When they open it, they find the ashes of Pittsburgh’s pocket book and a kilo of wasted time.
• Pittsburgh residents are thrilled to find out that yet another big Hollywood picture will be filmed in Pittsburgh.  However, they are later disappointed when they learn that it is a Matthew McConaughey movie.
• Ben Roethlisberger grows a mullet.  It is later captured and given a permanent home at the Pittsburgh zoo where it breeds with Jeff Reed’s mustache.
• Due to a scheduling error, the Pirates face a local little league team.  They lose.  Fortunately, no one is in the park to witness it.

Seriously though, it’s going to be a good year.